September 26, 2014

Shout It Out Loud

by Kyle Idleman

I read a story in the news about a billboard off I-95 in North Fort Lauderdale that simply read, “Brad Loves Melissa.” Brad had noticed that a jewelry company had a prominent billboard that his wife passed by every day on her commute to work. Over the years Brad had found different ways to publicly declare his love for his wife. He had put the message “Brad Loves Melissa” on everything from a side of a building to a giant inflatable advertising balloon. Brad contacted the jewelry company that owned the billboard and asked for their help in making his declaration of love. Sean Dunn from the jewelry company said, “It was a no-brainer for us, as we are in the business that is all about creating things that show people you love them; 99 percent of the time it is a stunning piece of designer jewelry, but this time it is a billboard.”

Can I be honest with you? I don’t really like Brad. I don’t actually know Brad, but I know enough. He makes the rest of us guys look bad. Can’t he just go by the Hallmark store on the night of February 13 like the rest of us? He’s like the kid in school who studies for the test and sets the curve high. He’s like the neighbor who has a perfect lawn and uses some sort of dark magic to create a checked pattern in his grass. He’s making it difficult for the rest of us. The truth is that when it comes to declaring our love for our spouses, most of us aren’t too proactive or creative.

Solomon and the girl he loves are not shy about their feelings for one another. Like passionate sports fans they want the world to know of their love. There is something about declaring our love that deepens our desire. It’s a way of choosing sides and stepping over a line. Solomon’s bride-to-be knows how Solomon feels about her, and so does everyone else.

                                Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love.

                                – Song of Solomon 2:4

Solomon’s fiancé́ spoke of him leading her to the banquet hall. So she likes eating out? Well, that’s probably true, but what counts is he’s showing her off in public. He takes her hand and says, “I want you to meet the guys.” What message does that send? It says, "I love you and I want everyone to know it." And she feels special. She says, “Let his banner over me be love.” That’s what flags are for, right? We wave them to show our allegiance.

Then there’s the opposite: that sad situation when people disparage their spouses in public. Both men and women do this, dragging their banner in the mud. Wives dish the dirt about their husbands. Men belittle their wives.   And it’s all passed off as something light, just joking. “Take my wife—please, take her!”

I’ve heard Christian leaders speak little one-liners about their wives in sermons. Don’t they get it? Marriage is a powerful, sacred bond never to be displayed at half-mast. Real love—well-tended, nurtured love—bears a fierce pride in the objects of our affection. We want to take the ones we love with us wherever we go. And when we’re apart, the love still shows.

Look for opportunities to fly your banner in public today. Just be sincere about it, and nobody said you have to rent a billboard or write a love sonnet and post it on Facebook. It doesn’t need to be on the scale of a Lifetime movie; just find a simple way to let others know you are excited about your marriage. If nothing else, when you’re around some friends or extended family, let your spouse overhear you express your love and admiration for him or her.

Keep this in mind, too: When we say a good word to the world about our marriages, we’re saying a good word about marriage itself. In case you haven’t noticed, the institution has fallen on hard times in some quarters. People are afraid of becoming another divorce statistic. We could use a few voices that make it clear that marriage is no burden; it’s a gift from God that keeps on giving.

Take some time to pray together as a couple and thank Jesus for letting the whole world know of his love for you. When he died for you on the cross, he forever made it clear that his banner over you is love. The more deeply you experience his love, the more deeply you are able to love others.

Excerpted from Awaken Love: A Couple’s Devotional Journey to Awaken Love in their Marriage. Published by City on a Hill Studio. Inspired by the motion picture “The Song,” opening in theaters this Friday, September 26.